If the path before you is clear, you're probably on someone else's

My friend shared this quote with me recently and I guess it hit me the way it was supposed to. For months we had gone over the potential ways to carve our futures, the endless possibilities which seemed within our reach, yet so far-away. We ranked and rationalized them with a set of pros and cons and estimated expectation values, drawing lists and charts. But is the path we choose really based on an entirely rational decision? Should it be? I believe this question goes deeper than what it seems at the surface. There is most certainly a discrepancy between how something ought to be versus whether it feels right - yes, feels, not whether the outcomes is the most rational based on calculations and lists and plans, but whether it gives something to me beyond all that, something which cannot be measured in material benefits or units of time.

As a simplified illustration, let's picture this: There are two ways before us: One has been well-traversed with many people already having experienced this path, learned from it, optimised it over time. It seems safe, secure, reliable, and mostly, attainable. The curves and edges of this road are mostly predictable and the prospects of success (however that is measured; mostly in terms of financial gains) are reasonably high. Overall, is a very attractive and lucrative option. The risks? Almost none at first sight.

The other path, on the contrary, is unknown. Actually, it is not even a path, so to speak, as it first must be defined, curated, thought through, tried and tested. The parameters are not given. Thus, its reliability ranges between to low to non-existent. However, everything is possible. The lows can be potentially devastating, but the highs, they can take you to places unimagined.

When we find ourselves at such crossroads our environment plays a large role in how we view the situation before us. For example, my friend who sent me the quote mentioned in the beginning had been on the safe path ever since she can remember, but suddenly a few months ago she took a radical decision and threw herself into unknown waters. Whenever she tells her story to her friends, or colleagues back home, all they can do is shake their heads. They can't seem to grasp why someone as intelligent and successful as my friend would "throw it all away" (which she's not doing at all if you ask me) and take a big risk, when everything is going well.

But in her new city, the reaction was completely different. They were all ears for her story and shook her hand, welcoming her into their club. There's a reason they were there to hear her story, as they too had come to this place to chasing similar ambitions, experimenting and creating. I was so happy when my friend made the move because I knew that the people in her previous environment would not be able to see her potential and give her the support she deserves. Not because they underestimated her, but because their own perspectives were limited by the boundaries of the life they knew. So maybe the step you want to take next seems radical in your current circumstances, but in a different environment, it might be seen as the most natural thing you could ever do.

If you think about the names in this world that have shaped science, literature, world economies, politics and social change, and look closely at their stories, you'll see that their journeys were far from smooth, filled with rejection, failure, uncertainty, and anxiety but also with immense courage, inspiration, and unprecedented success. Mark Zuckerberg was a college dropout who built one of the largest tech empires in the world. The authors of Chicken Soup for the Soul were rejected 144 times before a publisher finally said yes—and their book went on to become a global phenomenon. Elon Musk relentlessly pushed back against his investors and ultimately saved Tesla. Malala Yousafzai was shot for seeking education, yet today she stands as one of the most influential advocates for girls' education worldwide. None of them followed the straight-forward path, the one that most traveled before them and will travel after them. These people had something far more precious.: They had the courage to follow their heart, to listen to their calling without knowing what lay ahead. That is what life is about, right?

Now some might say these are extreme cases, and unlike the extraordinary lives these personalities have led, they wish for a far simpler life and appreciate the comfort of a safety, and that is perfectly fine. That, however, is not the question but the answer. The real question is posed much earlier - What is it that your heart desires? What do you long for? Not your parents, not your boss, not your peers, not your partner, but you - What do you want?

When I look around and try to understand people's decisions that led them to this exact moment in their lives, including my own, I cannot help but wonder, if they are in the place they dreamt to be. Are they doing enough of what they truly desire, or are they just lost sheeps following the masses of the herd, locked in by their own limitations in thought and action, losing themselves in the comfort of domestic life, a quiet trap in disguise. One of the side effects of luxury is inflexibility. Suddenly, we’re comfortable, and in that comfort, we become stagnant, the urge to ask the real questions slowly fades. And perhaps by the time you hear the whispers of your inner voice, you feel you’re already too deep in to change course. You’ve been in this relationship for too many years to leave now. You’ve worked too long in this career to quit. This is the sunk cost effect seeping directly into your conscience and decision-making.

So I ask myself, and I ask you, dear readers, what is the driver of your decisions? Is it truly you in your essence, the circumstancial influence of your surroundings, or simply the fact that you've been into it for long? The answer may not be black and white, it will most likely be more nuanced and complicated than that. Ask it anyway and face the answer.

It is scary to feel lost, or have a path in front of you that is anything but clear. Yet, if you find yourself in that situation, take heart: it means you're on your way. It means you are thinking, feeling, and acting — taking life into your own hands and paving the best path forward for you. And that, my friends, is good news. Because the path that is yours alone was never meant to be clear. It was meant to be found.