How to Build Healthier Phone Habits

I‘m sitting in the train, passing by the beautiful lake whose waters are shining bright blue under the summer sun. Yet, almost everyone‘s eyes are fixed downward. Glued to their screens. Some look like they‘re texting, others are watching something intently, but most are just scrolling down on what I’d guess is Tiktok or Instagram. For a second I wonder, do I look like this too?

Probably yes. Maybe not in this very moment, but I recognized myself too. So many times, my focus was on my screen rather than my real surroundings. But actually that’s where life is happening - not on WhatsApp or Instagram but out there, in the real world. One downside of technological advancement is how it has changed our expectation and response to dopamine. The little dopamine ‘kicks’ we get from content crash as fast as they come — and so we crave more, starting the never-ending cycle.

Moreover, it has begun to affect our ability to concentrate. Research has shown that over the past couple of decades people’s attention spans have shrunk in measurable ways. A recent study found that the average American has a concentration span of just 47 seconds - making it nearly impossible to focus fully on a single task. People are chronically online - About 81% check their phone within 10 minutes of waking and over half sleep with it by their bedside. In other words, for most their phones are the first and last thing they see in the day.

We all know this — the ring tone of our notifications, the flashes of world news that pop up, the emails that keep accumulating in our inbox, the song that is always playing in the background, we are constantly overstimulated. Some people might claim to be more productive by getting multiple things done at the same time. I used to believe this too; why not save myself some time and listen to this podcast while cooking dinner and then get some work done while eating. Isn’t that more efficient?

I was quickly proven wrong. And yet, the illusion of multitasking is still widely believed, even though neurologists across the world have proven otherwise. What we call multitasking is really just the brain switching rapidly between tasks — and that comes at a cost. Mental fatigue sets in faster, actually reducing productivity and quality of outputs. Our cognitive power is suffering from overstimulation through constant sensory perceptions.  And that one of the reasons why we are disconnected.

There is always something to do, somewhere to be, anywhere except in the present moment.

How often have you made plans to spend quality time with someone, only to have them check their phone every few minutes? How many people try to capture the best lighting, frame and angle of the sunset happening right before you instead of just watching it? How many times were you that person?

Our phones keep us engaged, occupied, distracted, so much that it has reached a point where even the idea of silence frightens us. And yet, the art of simply doing nothing is one of the most natural things for us as human beings. It is in silence where we truly process. Silence it isn’t awkward, or passive, a waste of time and nothing we should try to escape from. It is a natural part of our lives. However, our 24/7 availability has affected our ability to just be, sit it out, even when the moment is uncomfortable, without reaching for our phones.

The knowledge is out there. So is the will. Many of us use screen-time limits, track our usage, and are aware of how addictive our habits have become. But often, that awareness isn’t enough. And the big steps like turning your phone off after a certain hour, or going fully offline for a day feel too extreme or just not compatible with modern life.

The good news? You don’t have to start big. Today, I’m sharing some steps that have been tried and tested to build healthier phone habits and reduce digital dependency:

Start your day without your phone

This small adjustment has quietly flipped my mornings . I used to reach for my phone right after turning (or snoozing) off the alarm. And there it was: a pile of notifications. Messages from group chats, personal texts, news alerts, in-app notifications. Of course I’d end up unlocking it and scrolling through them all.

That flood of information was the first thing I absorbed after waking up. Isn't that a bit worrying?

Regardless of how restful my sleep was the night before, I’m starting the day completely out of focus. In this state just immediately after we wake up, our minds are most conscious. By exposing myself to a vast array of information from the external world, I’m losing that moment of heightened consciousness to set my intention for the day.

But what if it’s something important? Still then — even just waiting for 10 minutes before checking your phone will have an impact. And nothing is going to change in those 10 minutes. For every minute that you gain, you have the chance to replace it with something else. For me, it’s been priming my mind with affirmations and cognitive trainings to process things in a certain way that will be beneficial both short and long term. And then of course, the gym. Most of the days I find myself checking my phone only after hours of waking up, after I finish my workout. This helped me too. For a good workout in the early morning I cannot lose time on my phone or afford any distractions that will get in the way of it. For how to integrate movement in your everday life, check my previous blog 5 Ways to Make Movement a Part of Your Everyday Life

Set phone-free spaces

Just like the classic no-phones-at-the-dinner-table rule, try designating physical spaces where your phone simply doesn’t go. Dedicate different spaces to different purposes. The dinner table is for having meals, the corner on the right is where you read books, the room on the left is where you make music. And then, define boundaries by setting phone-free zones: For example, you will not find the phone on the reading chair, the bed, the working desk, or classic, the dinner table.

It might feel odd at first, but this rule really does work. Start with just one space. No scrolling, no digital intrusions. Over time, you might just find yourself creating more of them.

Replace screen time with real-life activities

So, you’ve done it — you’ve put the phone away. Now what? Keeping it out of reach is just the first hurdle, but how do you overcome the temptation to find it again?

It‘s simple — for everything you let go, you create a space for something else. So you just freed time you can dedicate to any other activity that doesn‘t involve your phone. I recommend being outdoors but there are plenty of options: I asked my friends to get a sample of things you could do instead: Ryan plays tennis. Lynn goes for a swim. Alicia reads a book. Ro experiments in the kitchen. Alex plays the guitar.

But what struck me was my grandparents answer. They didn’t grow up with smartphones and even now, technology plays only a small role in their lives. Now that they’re retired and mostly at home, trying to do as much as their health allows them to, there are many silences in-between, where they simply just are. I’ve walked into their home countless times to find my grandmother sitting out on the balcony, tracing the movement of shadows or watching birds hop from tree to tree. Sometimes she takes a flower, looks at it more closely, smells it and smiles to herself. And I can see that in that moment she is at peace. Not rushed, not distracted, just there. So however simple a screen-free activity may seem, it can be fulfilling.

Leave your phone at home

Yes — actually leave it.

Going for a quick errand, stepping out for a walk, grabbing a coffee? Try doing it without your phone. This one’s different from simply putting it in your bag or across the room. Here, you remove the option completely. You learn to be without.

I tried this while living in London. At first, it was uncomfortable as I often relied on Google Maps to get around. But without it, I discovered other ways:I asked strangers for directions, read maps (or just stared at them) at tube stations, I talked to bus drivers, or just wandered off and explored.

And I can tell you, I noticed people more. I also smiled more, interacted differently, and even made a few new friends that way (I have some fun stories about that). I learned that being alone in a crowd, without distractions, is not a strange or uncomfortable thing. There’s no need to immediately reach for your phone every time you’re alone or there’s a pause. There is presence there too.

Technology can bring us closer if we use it in the right way — but we often don’t. The good news is, we can do something about it. I hope some of these ideas resonated with you. If you have more thoughts or tips, I’d love to hear about them! Feel free to leave a comment below or reach out on the beachtalkjournal.