When the Grass Is(n't) Greener on the Other Side

It was a magical day. With not a single cloud in the sky, London was brimming with spring air. Everything seemed brighter, from the pink palettes of the season’s first cherry blossoms to the smiles of strangers on the street. It was one of those days where the world felt perfectly aligned. Joy and I looked at each other, instantly realizing we were thinking the same thing, and our smiles grew even wider. It was as if nothing had changed. We were both in this city that had given us so much, walking through the neighbourhood, stopping here and there for a coffee or random selfie, talking about everything that crossed our minds, probably overanalysing a few things and laughing our hearts out.

It was a stroke of luck that I met Joy at the very beginning of my time in London. We met during a (thankfully false) fire alarm in the building we stayed in. Both of us had just stepped out of the shower, hair dripping, and carrying our Swiss IDs, just in case. Little did we know that this bizarre little moment would be the beginning of a friendship that would shape our entire London experience.

As we continued our walk that day, romanticising every small thing along the way, I wondered what exactly it was about this place that that made me feel so alive. Everything seemed lighter, connecting with people was more effortless and life was spontaneous, where I was going with the flow and for a moment, everything seemed possible. What was it that let me feel this way here over other places? I somehow felt I was a different person here, unburdened and carefree.

Now this brought up a question I’ve been circling around for months: When is mindset simply a matter of perspective and when is life trying to tell us something?

When is it time for real change? When is it time to let something go? I believe this is a question everyone of us has asked themselves at some point in our lives. Looking at the people around me, my friends, my peers, I see how many of us are in the same journey, figuring out who we are, what we want, where we belong. Asking ourselves if we’re on the right track, or if we’ve taken a detour we didn’t mean to.

Whenever I try to get to the root of any friction or sense of unease I experience, this is the question I keep coming back to: How do you really know when the time has come for change?

We all know the saying: The grass is always greener on the other side. The other city, the other job, the other life. From the far sight of it, the lure of it seems more appealing than what is front of us now. It’s funny that we always want what we don‘t have. However, in my view, the grass is not greener on the other side. In fact, the grass has the same color everywhere. More than external circumstances, it’s our internal mindset that defines the colours through which we see life. In Indian Philosophy, the Bhagavad Gita tries to tell us that our life is really what our consciousness is. Everything we do, say and think is based upon the state of consciousness we have at the moment rather than what is happening around us. When we are happy, we don’t have any serious complaints against life. At other times, even though we have everything that makes for satisfaction, there still may be a feeling of emptiness inside. Not because the world has changed, but because there has been a change in our consciousness.

Lows are a part of life as much as any other feeling. Even though we might want to skip the harder moments, it is precisely then, when growth happens. The drivers of active change are often rooted in feelings of discontentment or discomfort. If nothing ever bothered us, why would we go out of the way to change something?

But then again, life is not perfect. Sometimes it is messy and unpredictable and hard, and in those moments we find ourselves losing hope. So how do you know if what you’re experiencing is just a passing phase or a wake-up call?

While reflecting on this, I came up with a three-step approach that helps me move through that question. I want to share it with you today.

Step 1: Give yourself time.

I believe one of the big factors is time. Really taking time to understand your thoughts, listen to them and process them, giving them the space they deserve. Let them flow through you, without judging or instantly distinguishing between “good” and “bad” thoughts, even as the weight of them may feel heavy. As Shakespeare put it, “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so”.

There is a general sense of impatience as well as a tendency to wanting to avoid tensions or negative emotions, but in order to get to the how, it is imperative to get to the why first. Concealing difficult emotions with distractions will only provide temporary solutions, however, sometimes you also have to endure them to find your answers.

One way that works for me is giving myself a time limit. When I experience longer periods of discontentment, or find my thoughts circling back to the same point again, I sit through them – but only during a limited timeframe. I give myself a week, a month or even a year, whatever is most appropriate to assess the situation with better clarity. You’ll find most things to be not black and white. Giving yourself time to truly process will help you see the shades in between. Maybe what feels overwhelming today will seem minor tomorrow. Maybe what feels like a loss now will eventually lead to something more meaningful. Time is important – but it is only the start.

Step 2: Take your power back.

Contrary to the saying “time heals all wounds”, I believe it is what we do in that time rather than time itself, that shapes the healing process.

One of life’s curse and blessing is that so much is out of our control. You have no control over how others behave, what they say or think, how the stock market swings, whether the sun shines today, or if you’ll hit traffic on the way to a meeting. The good news is that not all is left to chance. Some things are in your hands and that’s where your power lies. So ask yourself: what can you do?

At the end of the day your mental well-being is your responsibility. So when I feel stressed, restricted, or like I barely have time for myself, the onus is on me to change something. Looking over the fence at someone else’s grass, wishing things were different, or lingering too long in that feeling—none of it changes anything. Try to turn things around. Whether that means taking few minutes a day for yourself, setting stronger boundaries or even speaking to a professional. Give yourself that chance.

But here’s the thing: what if you’re already trying?

As Joy and I were crossing the large meadow in Hyde Park, that’s exactly what we spoke about. I felt like I was genuinely trying. I try to improve my day in so many small ways that I hope will eventually add up and be enough. I try to prime my mind with affirmations, I journal to process my feelings, I practice gratitude every morning, I do sports regularly, I follow a balanced diet, I try to stay connected to people I love, I read my favorite books, I try different activities, I try to stay positive and embrace what is in front of me - yet I can’t help but feel something is still missing. Distances feel longer, making plans feels like a task, life seems stricter, more regulated, more complicated, as if I‘m moving in a box, where any move too far out means hitting the wall.

I’ve been told this would be a phase—that I just needed time to settle in, find my rhythm again, and everything else would fall into place. It’s not that I feel actively sad, but I also don’t feel the same ease and lightness I had in London. London was the high of my life. Everything in comparison somehow pales—and rationally—I know every chapter has its own charm and beauty. This one does too. And when I take a bird’s eye view, I can see it, even if not as vividly as I’d like, but enough to know it’s there. Especially when you’ve worked so hard to get where you are, you owe it to yourself to pause and really think: What if this isn’t just about waiting for it to get better? What if this is the part where you actively turn things around?

Step 3: Take action.

Let’s quickly recapitulate. You gave yourself time to feel what needed to be felt. You allowed the full spectrum of emotions to come in, without shutting the door too soon. Then, you took your power back. You focused on what was within your control and made a genuine effort to shift your perspective, your habits, your day-to-day. And remember the timeframe you set for yourself in Step 1? That day you promised you’d return to has come.

Now, you reassess: Do you still feel the way you did when you set that date?

Everything around you is constantly speaking. Your body language, heartbeat, energy levels, the tension in your shoulders. The way certain conversations leave you energized while others leave you drained. The doors that open when you finally stop trying to force it. If you listen—really listen—you’ll hear what life has been trying to tell you all along. Look back at the time that has passed since. Look at how you’ve moved through it, how you’ve tried, changed, grown. And now, with all that knowledge, ask yourself honestly: What is this moment asking of me? 

Maybe it’s telling you to hold on. Or maybe it’s telling you it’s time to walk away. And that’s not easy. Because the truth is, you can’t have it all, at least at the same time. Every decision is a trade-off. Choosing adventure often means letting go of comfort. Choosing security might mean letting go of spontaneity. There may not be a perfect choice. But there can be a right one for you, in this moment, if you’re brave enough to face it.

Take action. Even if it’s small. Even if it’s messy. Even if it’s terrifying. It’s not about chasing greener grass but remembering where you felt most like yourself.

Joy and I reached the end of the park. The sun was still shining, our hearts a little lighter after our conversation. Nothing had drastically changed, but still, something had shifted. And maybe that’s how change begins.